The Blessed Bonds Web Site
"Keeping People & Pets Together" 

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
----Anatole France (1844-1924)


SELF CARE FOR ANIMAL CARE GIVERS

 

"...What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, men would die from great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts happens to man. All things are connected..." - Chief Seattle (1786-1866)


Blessed Bonds strongly believes in the interconnectedness between people and animals. The natural flow of giving among all of life requires that we take care of ourselves. This is an especially important message to animal lovers. Dr. Harper is dedicated to helping animal welfare caregivers find a healthy balance between giving to themselves and the animals so they can continue their important role of helping all living creatures to have the chance to contribute their unique gifts to the world.


Preventing Burnout
by Linda Harper (published in PSYETA NEWS, Spring 2003)
www.psyeta.org

Burnout affects people in all walks of life, especially those individuals responsible for the care and well-being of other living creatures. Animal welfare caregivers and advocates immerse themselves in their work with great expectations for changing the plight of animals. Facing daily and unexpected crisis, they often become overwhelmed with the magnitude of the problem and discouraged with the limited results they see and with the obstacles that remain. As a result, animal advocates and caregivers make personal sacrifices and work harder, leading to emotional exhaustion, negative attitudes, and feelings of low self-accomplishment. These are symptoms of burnout.

The key to preventing burnout is self-care. A wise Chinese philosopher once said, "Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world." Following are five practical tips that may help to provide more compassion for yourself:

 Replenish yourself every day. Slow down. Take a few extra few minutes to rest. Cuddle with one of your furry friends before scrubbing the floors. Include some light, enjoyable reading along with your heavy research and scrutiny of legal documents. Rather than gulping down that energy bar, take the time to nurture yourself with a nourishing meal with a friend.

Honor your personal style. If one part of animal rescue is stressing you out, look to apply your talents to some other aspects of the same cause. Keep attuned to what kinds of situations are depleting for you and replace them with those activities that better match your gifts and personality. There are many different ways to help bring about change. Find the approach that matches your personal style. Recognize your limitations and go with your strengths.

Give yourself a break — away! Go for a walk. Go to a movie. Take time away from your work and make time for other interests such as taking a class or joining a group. Engage a family member or friend in an enjoyable conversation about something completely unrelated to animal rights. Delegate to others so that you can fully be away with no interruptions.

Embrace the present. Anyone advocating for the rights of animals has experienced the multiple frustrations that often occur when our efforts do not produce the results for which we so desperately hope and work. Fully enjoy that special connectedness that you feel with the animals and your fellow animal lovers and allow your gifts to unfold in their own time. Regardless of the outcome, remember that your efforts affirm who you are while modeling that value to others. Although we may not always get to see the fruits of our work, we need to trust that the results of our authentic effort — no matter how small they may appear to be — contribute to that greater vision for which we are striving.

Receive gifts from others freely and without guilt. Talk with others and accept the support you need. Attend a workshop or conference where you can share ideas with other animal welfare caregivers and advocates who support your beliefs. Ask for help and take it. For example, rather than taking on the full responsibility of a stray yourself, perhaps you can empower somebody else by offering them suggestions for finding the animal a new home.

As Faith Maloney, director of animal care at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary so wisely tells us from her own experience with burnout and re-energizing. "When we take care of ourselves, we get to live another day to help the animals.


Battling Burnout
"Take care of yourself as you're caring for pets..." by Linda Harper

Published In ChicagoLand Tails, April/May Spring 2003 • Source: http://www.chicagolandtails.com/index.pl/battling_burn_out#27

Does your animal companion politely wait for you before devouring his breakfast? Do the dogs you love and care for make sure that all of the other dogs have been walked first before asking for their turns? Does your cat give consideration to what you are doing before jumping up on your lap? Have you ever seen a dog or cat with "burnout" from giving to much? Most likely, the answer to all of these questions is "No!" because animals intuitively ask for and take what they need. These acts of self-care enable them to naturally and freely give to others. This natural wisdom displayed by our furry friends is the secret to giving that replenishes rather than depletes. When we listen to our natural desires to give and to receive, we nurture our natural giving spirit and expand our capacity to give. Follow your animal companion's lead, and discover how you can prevent burnout when helping the animals by taking care of YOU. Here are five good reasons why you should give to yourself:

1. Self-giving is part of life's natural cycles. Every being and action are interconnected and part of the greater whole. When we treat ourselves well, we enhance our ability to give to others, including the animals. A wise Chinese philosopher once said, "Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world."

In the wild, animals will often leave their crying offspring behind to find food for themselves. Their instinctive act of self-nurturing is necessary so they can feed and care for their young. Likewise, when my dog, Blackie, listens to his innate desire to play and romp, he runs off excess energy and gains knowledge about the world around him. With a renewed sense of well-being, he is able to give his love to me, plopping down on my lap to share some affection.

2. Life requires it. Did you know that the hummingbird instinctually increases its food intake before a storm? You need every possible resource to deal with the demands of everyday life, not to mention challenges and unexpected hardships. When you let yourself run close to empty, you failing to meet your responsibilities. And anyone who shares their days with animals knows that we need to have an extra supply of energy on hand to keep up with the pace of our furry friends. Who knows--perhaps our animal companions nap all day becasue they need the energy for us!

3. Self-care is a gift of freedom you give to others. When you take charge of your own needs, friends and loved ones are freed of that task. Taking car of yourself keeps you from making excessive demands. When my cat, Abe is not feeling well, he knows what he needs -- extra sleep and time curled by himself. He nurtures himself without worrying that my feelings will be hurt. This act of self-care enhances his own healing without my assistance, and enables him to be more loving and affectionate with me at a later time. Likewise, when my dog, Lukas has that urge to chew, he helps himself to a bone. For me, that means a reduced veterinary dental bill, his improved breath, and a few hours to myself while he falls asleep after a long day's "chew."

4. Self-giving sets a good example for others. When you meet your own needs, you are giving others permission to nurture themselves. You demonstrate that self-givers are not selfish, they're wise. And as more and more people in your circles actively take care of themselves, the natural flow of giving in the world will be enhanced.

5. Self-giving makes you more generous. Even in the most difficult situations, well-nurtured people are resilient. They become the givers they were meant to be. Psychologists agree that one of the most effective ways to reduce stress is to do something to care for yourself. When your needs are met, you are more creative, energetic, and empathetic. A replenished heart naturally has more to give. When your dog is lonely, she may nuzzle up to you for comfort. Her soothing presence will likely earn her lots of petting and an extra scratch on the belly. Usually, she'll embrace that gift and feel whole again— well enough to play with you, guard the house from strangers, stay close to you when you're sick, and otherwise give back to you. Isn't that just the kind of natural-expanding giver we all aspire to be?


For Those Caring for Multiple Animals

Maybe you pet-sit for a living. Maybe you volunteer with a rescue group and you've got 10 foster dogs in your home. Or maybe stray cats use your house as the neighborhood YMCA. However you interact with them, a large brood of furry companions is bound to take a toll on you, with the constant feeding, grooming, medicating, and cleaning. If you're feeling more like a zookeeper than a human being lately, try these steps to rejuvenate your soul:

1. Honor your personal style. If one part of animal care is stressing you out, apply your talents to some other aspects. Fore example, if your growing foster family is starting to overwhelm you, cut back on the number of pets you have and try your hand at a find-raising activity. If someone asks you to take a stray, educate that person about the joys of fostering or teach him creative ways to find a good home for the animal. Recognize your limitations and pursue other strengths.

2. Give yourself a break! Faith Maloney, Director of Animal Care at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah says, "When you've done all you can do, sometimes the best thing you can do is go see a movie." She also suggests that animal rescuers who are flooded with phone calls may need to let voice mail or another human being — pick up the calls for awhile.

3. Embrace the positives. Anyone dedicated to rescuing and caring for animals has experienced s has experienced the multiple frustrations and disillusionments that can occur. Maybe a dog is returned to you after his adoption doesn't work out. Or maybe you are having trouble socializing a feral cat. Don't let your need for specific results take away from the joy and meaning in your present act of giving. Fully enjoy that special connectedness you feel with the animals and your fellow animal lovers.

4. Replenish yourself every day. Slow down. Take those extra few minutes to rest and cuddle with a furry friend before scrubbing the floors. Rather than just gulping down that energy bar, take the time to nurture yourself with a nourishing meal that really hits the spot! (Ideally, have that meal with a friend.) Go for a walk. Make time for fun hobbies. Exercise regularly and eat lots of healthy food. As Maloney so wisely says, " When we take care of ourselves, we get to live another day to help the animals."

5. Receive gifts from others freely and without guilt. Call a friend and let yourself feel comforted by her encouragement and praise. Don't be afraid to delegate some of your work. Accept favors like a friend picking up groceries for you. It will pay off in spades. And you'll have the strength once again to do favors for others.

Take a cue from the wisdom of our furry friends. Replenish your giving herat by caring for you. You will experience the deeper mystery, pleasure and celebration of life that our animal companions enjoy -- and you'll give to your heart's content!


Online Support for Animal Caregivers Through Best Friends

Check out online advice from animal experts around the country through the No More Homeless Pets Online forum on the Best Friends Animal Society website that can be found at:: www.bestfriends.org Click on to the NMHP forum.

To review responses by Dr. Linda Harper that address issues regarding the emotional and interpersonal side of animal rescue and care giving, click the archives. Her responses can be found on the NMHP forum for the weeks of July 14-18, 2003 and January 26 -30, 2004; and for the most up-to-date links concerning same, please log on to the following Internet web pages:

NO MORE HOMELESS PETS: "THE GIVING HEART" - By Dr. Linda R. Harper, PhD through the BEST FRIENDS NETWORK

BEST FRIENDS: COPING WITH EMOTIONS
(Article by Dr. Linda R. Harper, Ph.D.)


BEST FRIENDS: DEALING WITH EMOTIONS
(Article by Dr. Linda R. Harper, Ph.D.)

BEST FRIENDS: WORKING WITH PEOPLE IS THE HARD PART
(Article by Dr. Linda R. Harper)


You may view and/or download the article called "Saying Goodbye" in text form by clicking on the following links:

"Saying Goodbye" by Dr. Linda R. Harper, Ph.D. (PDF)

"Saying Goodbye" by Dr. Linda R. Harper, Ph.D. (Word File)

 Dr. Linda Harper, a clinical psychologist, will help you to understand and manage emotions, and explore how to can transform passion into action to help the animals.

We give comfort and receive comfort, sometimes at the same time.

 


 

 

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